ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
