All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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