he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
