ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize