We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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