when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
