They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
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My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
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Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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