I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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