i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
