before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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