Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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