Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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