is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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