My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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