dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
