Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
