A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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