I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dicks are not precious.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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