Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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