He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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