Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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