chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
