I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
