the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
