Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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