Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it glows. i had to have it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize