Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
