Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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