He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
