It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
