benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
