Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
