Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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