Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
