Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize