Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
