The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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