I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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