she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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