Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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