I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
