No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
