she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize