I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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