we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He shit in the fireplace
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
