a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize