We won't sleep together?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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