Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
why do cheetos always look like penises
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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