I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
