Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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