4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
