There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
