i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Im part way to drunk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?