Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
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I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.