If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.