But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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