A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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