dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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