dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
