This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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