I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
