Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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