They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I enjoy the company of your penis
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
